The longer we are on this earth the less adaptable we seem to become, yet being adaptable is key to happiness and resilience. When was the last time you voluntarily changed something in your life? The important word here is voluntarily. We all know that our lives are subject to changes and shifts beyond […]
The longer we are on this earth the less adaptable we seem to become, yet being adaptable is key to happiness and resilience.
When was the last time you voluntarily changed something in your life? The important word here is voluntarily. We all know that our lives are subject to changes and shifts beyond our control, sometimes devastating, sometimes a blessing in disguise. In Bruce Fieler’s illuminating book Life is in the Transitions, he explains that in our lifetime we will face “dozens of disruptors’ ‘ which can snowball and become what he calls lifequakes. Life quakes are often defined as life before the event and life after the event.
Even the voluntary choices we make cause upheaval and require us to adjust and adapt. The fear of the unknown is real, how will I perform, what if I can’t keep up, what if I make a mistake or embarrass myself? Managing fear is possible but it requires vulnerability and honesty. Tuning into our feelings and emotions without judgment can provide clarity and allow us to move through the fear and stand in excited anticipation and hopefulness. It is possible to meet new beginnings with energy and enthusiasm.
Identification – When your feelings are uncomfortable ask yourself WHY. What is making me feel this way and what is the specific emotion I am experiencing? It is uncertainty, sadness, grief, anxiety, anger, incapable, confusion, betrayal…and where in my body am I feeling the emotion.
Feel your feelings – No one teaches us how to just feel our feelings. It’s too easy to use a vice of choice and subdue the discomfort. By not dealing with negative feelings and emotions they will fester and take root in our bodies waiting to become something more sinister. Sit with uncomfortable feelings, do not ignore or try to change them before you have made sense of them. Everything is temporary.
Cultivate self-compassion -What would you say to a friend, furthermore be a friend to yourself. Friends offer love, comfort and understanding. Friends are not impatient or judgemental. Be kind and generous with yourself, you will find more joy by attracting what you are putting out.
Create space – It’s easy to fill up our lives with the day to day responsibilities. If you are running from task to task, you are crowding out growth. Human beings need space away from daily roles to connect with themselves and move forward with intention and awareness.
Pay attention to your self-talk – You are in control of your mind, you have the ability to change what you think and how you act. When that voice in your head is convincing you that you are doomed to fail, change the script. Be realistic. False positivity is toxic and won’t help you triumph over anything.
Change is inevitable, the outcome is not. Endings are really just new beginnings.
To remind myself of the importance of staying flexible, I repeat this incantation in a sing-song voice. It comes from a yogic lineage that encourages personal peace and I hope it brings some to you.
“ADAPT, ADJUST, ACCOMMODATE, BE GOOD, BE KIND, BE COMPASSIONATE. INQUIRE WHO AM I, KNOW THYSELF AND BE FREE”.
If you are looking to try something new that will help you adapt to change and help you to live life with more self-compassion I think you’ll love my accessible 8 week Classical Yoga Program. You will learn practical adaptable tools that will transform you on and off the mat.
With love and compassion,