Help! My Negative Self Talk Is Keeping Me From Living My Fullest Life!

Do you have a niggly negative voice telling you things about yourself and the world around you, possibly taking over the spotlight from time to time?  Is it preventing you from doing what you want or need to do in your life?  

Don’t worry — we all do!

A little self criticism is normal and can even be a catalyst for positive change.  HOWEVER – if it is getting in the way of you living your fullest life, then it’s time to take some action.

If you’re sick of having these repetitive thoughts in your head, there are certain things you can do to REDUCE the noise and one day – stop them altogether. 

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are the persistent voices that convince you that you can’t be or do or have something due to a perceived inadequacy in some area of your life or personality.

Your negative narrative usually goes something like this:

I won’t ever be [this]…

I can’t do [that]…

I don’t have [this]…

I don’t deserve to be/have [this]…

And, one really common one that comes up for many people…

I am not good enough.

Let’s change up the narrative you may have been having with yourself for a very long time!

Here are a few ideas to help you silence your inner critic.

Stop the cycle!

The first step to changing any habit is awareness. Quite often these negative beliefs cycle through our minds, and while we know they are there, we may not be aware how prevalent they actually are.

At Wild Flower, the best way that we know how to build awareness is to become as present as possible. And that means physically stopping and taking a pause. You can do that through a wonderful full belly breath.  When you literally stop in your tracks, or stop your thoughts in their tracks, and take a delicious deep breath, your mind slows down and you become present and aware. That means closing your eyes if you can safely (no driving off the road, folks), breathing in slowly though your nose, pushing out your belly, and filling the lungs right up. Exhale even slower, if you can, either through your nose or your mouth.  

If you are able to do this several times throughout the day you will start to become more aware of your thoughts.  

Next, start questioning why you do something. If you are denying yourself joy or fulfilment in some aspect of your life, ask yourself why.   

Really begin to question why you are doing the things you do and reacting the way you react. You’re not judging these thoughts whatsoever. Never beat yourself up — just let them be. Right now you’re just stopping, breathing, and asking yourself why?

I’ll give you an example. For many years I refused to buy myself nice bedding. I would spend lots of money making sure the spa always had new, super white, crisp sheets and yet I was sleeping on rags. It always sort of bothered me but I had this limiting belief that I wasn’t worthy of having nice things and that the only thing of importance in my life was my business. I was not thinking about myself and the importance that just little ol’ me had in the world. Once I became aware of this limiting belief I (nervously) bought myself some beautiful 100% bamboo sheets and a duvet cover. After that, I’ve never looked back. I sleep better, I feel better about myself and I have destroyed a limiting belief. I now know that I am worthy and deserving just as much as my business is. It sounds like a really simple, silly thing. But it was actually a big deal to me.  

If you pair your deep breathing with this questioning, you will find that within a few days you are able to catch these limiting beliefs and almost have a conversation with yourself about them. 

Once you are aware of these negative bullshit beliefs (and yes, that is the technical term) — now what? Now you need to replace it with something else. That’s where incantations, mantras or affirmations come in. We need to replace the “I am not…” and the ” I cannot…”  with something more self-serving and empowering. Imagine that!!

When I first started on this journey I picked something simple to repeat that felt good to say but was very accessible to me. My mantra was “I am worthy. I deserve Joy”. (Now it’s: “I’m a gratitude warrior queen, who is master of her domain and a force for good” among MANY others… but that’s a whole other blog post!). What incantation or affirmation are you going to use? What words will inspire you and begin to switch the script? 

It can feel really overwhelming at the beginning and almost impossible, but just know if you stick with it and keep it simple you will see a result! And that takes me to my next tip — consistency.

Habits, especially ones that we’ve possibly had since childhood, can seem very difficult to change. It is very easy to slip back into our old ways. And I’m sure it will happen many, many times. Our brains often go on autopilot. Especially when we are really busy and kind of racing through life. Maybe you are a mom, maybe a business owner (maybe both) or you have a full-time job and tons of obligations. That’s why it’s important to not give up. Do not quit. Persevere. Always remember that your deep breath and your ability to replace negative thoughts with empowering ones are right there, accessible to you, at all times. If you find you are slipping back into old patterns, never beat yourself up. Change happens little by little.

Next, give yourself the time. Women especially have a lot of limiting beliefs around what they deserve and can have. We hear them all the time at the spa. “I don’t have enough time”, “I don’t have enough money”, “I have to take care of my kids”, “I don’t have the right education”, “my skin has always been like this it will never change”, “I got my bad skin from my mom”, and on and on. I have to say it’s one of the hardest parts of this job –  listening to women day in and day out constantly repeat these limiting beliefs to themselves. To a point where they think it is the truth. I will tell you right now — all of those things above are not true. You can create a life for yourself where you have the time, money and space to take care of yourself.

 And that’s where Wild Flower steps in. We have created an amazing service called the Elemental Reset. And it is for all human beings who have limiting beliefs. We have created a 90-minute space for you to completely let go and allow us to overtake the Mind Body Soul experience. Throughout this treatment we ask that you have your incantation ready and repeat it in your head throughout the entire service.

To make sure your journey continues at home we are very excited to announce the launch of our  *NEW* Elemental Reset Home Care Boxes. For only $80 you can take home the box you need to practice self-care and rebalance yourself at home. Each box relates to a specific element (earth, water, fire or air) and contains over $100 worth of product and was put together with the utmost care.  We really hope this is something special for you to enjoy. Because guess what? You are special.  

Give yourself this time. Make the time. You are worth it.  You deserve it — just because you are you.   

And don’t forget, until the end of march you can add a Relaxation Pedicure for HALF PRICE when you book the Elemental Reset. YES! March is the month of setting new intentions and the start of crafting a new life for ourselves.

We cannot wait to see you in the spa!

Alexis